Not Perfect

All my life growing up I was known to be the cleanest child and the one who organized everything around the house and actually was the only one who kept the house in order until I left home. So, I have this thing about me that I hate messy, dirty things. I just cannot stand it and I guess it's safe to say that I'm chalked up to be Obssesive Composive. For example: I loved watermelons but can't stand that the juice running all through my hands and such, which brought me to my fear of having children! Because I cannot have children who are filthy with sticky fingers from popsicles, juice and such. That was my plan at least until the Lord opened my eyes. Until now all I have done with Allison only the things that I know is messy proofed and I am extra careful now with her and markers as she got a hold of a giant permanent marker and wen to town on my face and all over her toys.

I'm so scared of letting go and letting my child makes a mess in the kitchen because it really stresses me out when I have to clean it up. Part of it is because I'm not a full time stay at home so I have work and responsibilities when I get home from work that I didn't need the extra chores to do. I know I sound like a control freak, but this why I'm blogging again: to let go of things I cannot control, have so fun with my daughter and at the same time making memories. I'm making a list of things I want to do with her this summer. (Allison does have a good life and has plenty of childhood memories and gets to do what a lot of toddlers get to do, so it's not like I really deprived her. I just haven't let her do the things I'm scared of, that's all.)

Things I will do with my daughter this summer:

1. make mud pies
2. dance in the rain (only when it's safe)
3. finger paint a bunch of projects
4. bake cookies (the entire process)
5. catch lightning bugs
6. wade in the creek
7. eat a ton of watermelon (and who cares if the juice gets everywhere!!)
8. dig for seashells
9. build real sand castles on the beach
10. take pictures with every Disney Princesses we can find!
11. (gonna think some more)

Fried Catfish & Hush Puppies

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July and enjoyed the three days weekend!! I enjoyed it thoroughly with my precious family. Though last night I felt like some allergies are coming on and today too. Well, we did it again! Since I knew Danner's family there's been a tradition made by our late Papa. One year he had a crave for catfish so they had catfish for 4th of July that year and it stuck. Though our Papa passed away last October, we carried on the tradition without him. We missed him and know that he was looking down on us, probably telling us what we were doing wrong with the catfish :-) but we managed to fried the catfish, chicken, and hush puppies and of course everything was delicious!! Danner made oatmeal raisins and chocolate chip cookies, another thing Papa always made when he was on earth, to carry on the family tradition. He did such a good job and everyone was very proud of him!! We brought fresh corn on the cob and Allison had a few ears and I did the same. There's nothing beats fresh corn on the cob on a summer evening! After lunch, I was able to put Allison down for nap and of course I fell asleep too. It was very much needed for both of us. When we got up from our nap played in the backyard of our Mema's house. We played the family game of croquet which I'm so awfully bad at. It was so terrible that I had to quit and I'm usually the competitive one. We played outside till 9:00 and all loaded in our vehicles to go see the fireworks display at the air port. We were quite disappointed at what was suppose to be bigger and better than the previous years, but I guess at least there were fireworks on the 4th, right? We all slept well of course! Monday came along and we took Allison to her first swim lession which she did wonderfully! She enjoyed it while I was sitting far away wondering if she was good or whether she was listening to her teacher. Danner was there beside me telling me how good she is because he used to be the swim instructor back in high school years. Our little baby is growing up! Watching her walking away with total strangers and doing what she was told was so different for me. I'm so proud of her and sad at the same time that she's no longer an infant that needs me all the time but that she is her own person now with decisions of her own to make. We wrapped up the afternoon eating leftovers at Mema's house then a nap. When we woke up we went over to Bentonville to visit my family. My mom makes the best "Pho" in the world and we filled our tummies up with another delicious meal. Allison had so much fun there with her grandparents, aunts and uncle that she didn't want to go home. :-(. She had to come with us, of course.

Here are some of the pictures from that day:

Posing with Daddy and a garden fresh cherry tomato

Mommy's turn

I'm so big! (Confession: Daddy dressed this

morning and had me wear my dress backward)

Another corn-on-cob eating was captured

Love my Grandpa Craig!

He's such good Grandpa!

Happy 4th of July!!!

While Allison is tucked in for the night, Danner is making his first batch of oatmeal cookies with chocolate and raisins. They are family recipes passed down from his Papa Pete who passed away in October. He always made the best cookies and I'm so glad his own grandson gets to carry on the tradition. We sure miss you, Papa!! Can't wait to see you again in Heaven.

Three years ago on 4th July we got to tell everyone that we were expecting a little girl! The very first girl in over 50 years on Danner's side of the family. We were very excited so instead of wearing red, white & blue, we wore pink shirts instead. Our lives have changed so much since Allison came and all for the better!! We love her so much and she always knows how to brighten our days.

Here's the recap of the past three years:

Baby Girl Allison at 20 weeks

Happy Parents (5 months)

Extremely Proud Aunts

July 4, 2008 (8 months)

With Aunt Tram in Mema's Garden


July 4, 2009 (20 months)

Someone Gave Me a Fresh Corn

Oh, So Juicy!!

It's A Good Life!!

More to come this July 4, 2010!!!

Do Over

Danner's Father's Day was not very eventful as he found out that his wallet with money and gift card was stolen when he was at the Natural's baseball game. My eye was irritated and bothered me so much that I didn't want to do anything except laying down in bed and kept them shut. I feel bad for my husband and was so frustrated at the same time that all his gifts were stolen from him. Besides, we had to spend extra money to replace his ID and other cards. Good thing is that we don't have any credit cards so we didn't have deal with all the hassels except having his ATM canceled and replaced.

I want to do something special for my man because he truly deserves a Do Over!! He's been a wonderful and supportive husband of what I do with New Beginnings. He's always there to help when I needed extra hands. He's so good with Allison, especially when he didn't have classes. He'd take her to the park, stroll around town, and make sure she's fed and getting her naps in.

With Danner being back in school full time, our budget is tight but the end result will be so much better when he's done with Paramedic. He's a natural at saving lives. I'm so proud of him!! He's going to try to get in with a Fire Department in the fall, hopefully in Siloam, while taking classes.

Our family is making sacrifices to better our lives and at the same time following God's plan for us. We are being blessed with good health and opportunites serve others. When we say "yes" to God, He takes us to places we never dreamed we would be.

Journaling

I have given up journaling since Allison turned one. I bought myself a really cute journal to record my pregnancy and later added an embelsishment on the front cover that says, "Expect Mirracles" because at my six weeks I had to go the emergency room due to bleeding and other symptoms. When I got the emergency room they told me that I was having a miscarriage and there wasn't anything they could do for me so they made me wait for four hours in the waiting room while they let a guy with a cold in hours before me. It was a very hard time for me of not knowing how to feel whether I need to accept that I was loosing my baby or that I need to cling on to the fact the baby was safe.

Finally I was admitted and after dozen of times they tried to hook me up to an iv and I was already terrified of needles. They got an ultrasound specialist to come see me and she was extremely rude. It was then I realized how much Danner was hurting and wanting the baby that everything inside me prayed for the baby to be safe. The entire time I didn't know what to look for as it was my first ultrasound. Then the tech said, "looks like there's heart blinking on the screen." And Danner agreed with her. They both saw it at the same time and I totally missed it. The tech had to show me again so I can see my baby's heart beats. It was amazing and it was a miracle I was expecting. After 8 hours spent at the hospital, we walked away knowing that our baby was safe. I often wondered if I was carrying twins and lost one of our precious babies.

Since then I recorded every ups and downs with the pregnancy along with the joy of being a mom and the struggles and fear of the uncertainties. When Allison was born I kept journaling all her Firsts. My last entry was her one year birthday and it was fun and emotional at the same time. I hope that my journal will be a treasure for her someday that serves as a reminder of how much she was loved and wanted since the Lord formed her in my womb.

"For Thou form my inward parts: Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14

Third Time is a Charm Right?

Once again I had to figure out my account sign in name because I don't blog enough. Since I left xanga two years ago I can't bring myself back to blogging world. I miss it. I'm going to make an effort to blog more.

Let's see...Allison is now two and half and an amazing toddler!! Some of the things she can do that come off the top my head are:

- Ride a tricycle around the block
- Pray by herself at meals
- Fly a kite
- Know the entire Alphabets
- Count to 12
- Know her colors
- Brush her teeth without assistance
- Use the potty (work in progress)
- Open the fridge and help herself to whatever she can a hold of
- Sing "Amazing Grace" and dozen of other songs include the Vietnamese ones I taught her
- Put her face in the water without being afraid
- Do splits and summersaults
- Tell you all about traffic lights
- Help Mommy open and the close the store (a big helper)
- Draw hearts and pictures for everyone in the family

God has been so good to our family and we cannot believe how far He's been taking us. We are so thankful for the unity we have a married couple and learning to trust in one another after all the stuff we've been through. The Lord is blessing our daughter with many gifts and talents. We love how energetic, brave and smart she is. She's tall and growing out of her shoes and clothes it's like we can hardly keep up with her.

We signed her up for swim lessons this July. Danner wanted to wait for the second session so the water is warmer which is fine with me. Looks like I get to come along with Danner to watch Allison learn how to swim. It's funny because grandma and great-grandma are coming too! I'm blessed that she has family members that love her and support her in every way.

I Forgot I Had a New Blog and Also Too Lazy to Blog

I found it!!! It's almost 9 months later after creating this blog and I just now remember it so I'm going to try posting more.

Well, we moved to Siloam Springs, of course. We are settled in a cute little bungalow and love being near our church, family, and friends again. I love working for New Beginnings and the flexibility I have with work and Allison so it's been a blessing for us. Danner is registered and going back to college!! Yay, he's going for paramedic degree. He love the adrenaline rush and I'm sure there will be plenty of that.

I can't believe Allison is a 2-yr old already! She's quite a talker and very good with her vocabulary. There's nothing in this house that she hasn't touched, I think. We love her personality. We've been having a lot of tea parties lately :-). She can cook cheerios and dog food quite well too with her beautiful kitchen set, a birthday gift from her grandparents. I still can't believe my eyes sometime that I have a little girl in my house and she loves to play with kitchen stuff.

I was looking at my old pictures of my pregnancy, Allison's birth, and of her growing up just makes me sad and happy at the same time. I'm sad because she's not a baby anymore and doesn't need me like she used to. Happy because she doesn't need me and is her own independent person and full of life. The joy and struggles of being a parents is constant and I'd do all over again. :-)