I often receive emails or facebook messages from asking me to pray for them. The majority of the time I do stop and pray for them and their specific needs and then other times I forget because I I need to move on to what I was doing next. This is not how I should be. I am made to pray and stand in prayer agreement with all those who ask me to pray.
A friend sent me an email with a list of prayers and felt overwhelmed to go through them and pray for each one specifically. I must to do this for her because I love her and stand with her as she is going through a rough reason in her life.
" For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them." Matthrew 18:20
Friday, March 30
Saturday, March 24
Isaac Pregnancy Fast Forward to His Birth
The last time I posted was the image of Isaac's ultrasound which is sideway and I couldn't figure out how to flip it around. I'm sorry if it was a pain in your neck. So fast forward 9 months later I get to post about his birth. :-)
Read on if you have the courage to.
After the birth of our daughter the thought of more children was far from my mind. It was a traumatic hospital birth that involved many unnecessary interventions and loss of control. I was offered an induction at 39 weeks because the doctor said it would be a good day to have a baby. The nurses reminded me every centimeter of my dilation that that I could just ask for an epidural while my birth plans plainly stated I wanted to labor naturally. I had to demand them to let me get out of the bed to use the bathroom like a healthy human being. I suppose the induction decision tossed the written plans out of the window. After eleven and half hours of induced labor I managed to deliver a healthy baby girl without a drop of epidural thanks to the help of my husband Danner who prayed loudly in my ear at every peak of contractions. It was a growing experience though and I am stronger because of it.
Fast forward three years. After lots of prayer and support we decided to try for another baby. We became pregnant very quickly to my surprise. The feeling was excitement and dreadfulness. I was no doubt traumatized by my first experience with child birth. Remembering that my body did not respond to the local anesthesia while was being repaired for the episiotomy because baby was in distressed brought me chills. I was determined to achieve the most natural birth experience possible now that I had a second chance. After speaking with a friend about her childbirth experiences, I knew that a midwife was going to be the route we took this time. With lots of prayer and support of my husband we contacted a local midwife.
Once I spoke with Janessa I knew this time would be different. She was compassionate and encouraging. Danner and I soon decided on a home waterbirth. Believing in the power of prayers I spent the next 9 months preparing myself by staying fit, attending natural childbirth class, praying and healing myself from the inside out. Not to mention the insane number of Kegel I had to do to avoid having stiches again. Yes, do your Kegel exercises and your body will thank you later.
As my 40th week neared I was ready. I had LOTS of support and confidence in my body. My friends had arranged to have meals brought to our family once the labor signs kick in. We had all the birth kits ready, from crock pot, herbs, to birthing tub in place and all we needed was a baby. I scrubbed every inch of the baseboard, rearranged the kitchen, and bed rooms. I slept, walked, and prayed and repeated the cycle. My 40th week appointment arrived and my body still hadn’t made new progress. My midwife reassured me that a due date isn’t always accurate and I shouldn’t worry. While my contractions went from all over the place to nothing, I tried not to fret as people were curious about how I was doing and showing concerns. Some questions why I was allowed to go pass 40 weeks.
A day before my 41 weeks I felt a gush of fluid and thought surely that was my waters so Janessa conducted the non-stress test. Because we weren’t sure if that was the amniotic fluid she didn’t want to check how far I was dilated fear of infection. She wasn’t concerned since the baby showed no sign of distress. Each day passed I was more than ready to meet our son and praying that day was the day. Still the contractions just weren’t regular. I began to get weary that this baby would never come. I stayed in my room and had a few good cries, went on walks with Danner to keep my mind off the things I couldn’t control. Friends began bringing us meals throughout the week while we waited for labor to progress. Janessa checked in on me several times a day. Then that dreadful 42 weeks appointment approached and there was still no sign of baby. Finally I got the green light on alternating black and blue cohosh. Within the first hour of taking those nasty doses my contractions became more intense and then nothing! I resulted to Caster Oil because I was done being pregnant. I walked miles with Danner and even walked in the misty December rain one evening with our friend Stacy who was going to assist Danner while I’m in labor. I don’t know what I’d do without these two great people who were extremely patience with me through it all. Honestly, I felt the pressure because no one should have to go after being 42 weeks pregnant. I actually felt guilty that my body wouldn’tcooperate. The unproductive contraction continued and my patience wore thin. I knew he would come in his own good time, but when would that be.
The evening after two weeks being past due Danner and I hurried home from our long walk to meet Janessa to conduct another non-stress test. The baby was doing fine and hanging in there comfortably. She knew I was overwhelmed and suggested we "hit the reset button” and just let my body rest without natural induction and stop thinking about having this baby for a little while. It was a great relief for me. I went to bed early that night with dull contractions. At 4:45 am I was woken up with an intense contraction. I knew something was finally happening. I woke Danner up to get ready and to call Janessa and our friend Stacy. I got in the shower and had to concentrate on the breathing as the contractions were getting more painful and closer together. I put on my laboring clothes and both the women arrived after 5:00. We put on some soft music and lit the candles while the tub was being filled, Janessa checked me and I was already 5 centimeter dilated. That was the best news I heard in weeks! Stacy sat with me on the bed and prayed. Janessa massaged my shoulders and applied hot towels on my lower back to give me some relief. The room was warm, dimmed and intimate. I alternated from sitting on the birthing ball to leaning against Danner swaying and focused on breathing and moaning through each contraction, the way that so many women before me had labored. Sometime after 7:00, Janessa suggested sitting on the birth ball again and as I did I felt extremely uncomfortable so I stood up, heard a loud pop and my waters broke. At once I felt the baby’s head fully engaged and yelled the baby was coming. Everyone was so calmed, except for me; I was shaking and couldn’t move. I asked to get in the tub. Danner and Janessa helped me get comfortable and the water felt amazing! Within minutes I asked if I could push and was told whenever I felt ready. Stacy woke up our daughter Allison who had begged to stay up the night before so she could help catch her baby brother. She stood by my shoulder with to Danner who was explaining everything mommy was doing, Stacy continued to pray, and Janessa sat holding a mirror and flash light encouraging me while I took some deep breath and began pushing. After two good push the baby’s head crowned. I checked to see how far I had progressed and I felt hair. It gave me all the courage that the end was near and within seconds I could hold my baby. So one more push his entire body was out. Janessa reached in and pulled the baby to my chest. Right away Isaac Tien Joshua took his first breath and began to cry while he and I locked eyes. Sheer joy filled the room while I took time holding my newborn son as he suckled on my breast. At 7:30 a shofar was blown to announce his birth. Danner cut the cord once it stopped pulsating. We checked out every detail of his perfect body as we waited for my herbal bath to be ready and I delivered the placenta.
Family members were notified of our son’s arrival while I soaked in the herbal bath nursing our baby. I was never rushed to have Isaac assessed until both he and I were ready. From the evaluation, Isaac looked like he was born right on time and was not overdue. A couple of hours after his birth, Danner and Janessa got everything cleaned up while I rested with Isaac and Allison on the bed. Family members came to meet new baby. The transition was so calmed and relaxing all in the comfort of our home. Right away Isaac had his night and day figured out and nursed like a champ. I felt great and bounced back with less than half the time I did with Allison.
Looking back my home birth experience was truly a supernatural birth and full of healing. I felt empowered when I recognized my strength. I felt like a lioness roaring as I ushered my son into the world on my own without being told what to do or how and when to do it. Not only did I experience a quick and very little pain childbirth I got to see how God weaved friends into our lives to lift us up through prayers and support. Our entire family anticipated in the process. Our daughter will never have to wonder when it is her turn to bring her own children into the world. Even the midst of excitement I took time to reminisce the peace that God had instilled in me and knowing that I did everything right for me and my family. I am thankful I was allowed to wait on my son’s perfect timing. Moreover, we received many miracles throughout my pregnancy and two of which were having my delivery and birthing tub paid for through generous gifts.
Once I spoke with Janessa I knew this time would be different. She was compassionate and encouraging. Danner and I soon decided on a home waterbirth. Believing in the power of prayers I spent the next 9 months preparing myself by staying fit, attending natural childbirth class, praying and healing myself from the inside out. Not to mention the insane number of Kegel I had to do to avoid having stiches again. Yes, do your Kegel exercises and your body will thank you later.
As my 40th week neared I was ready. I had LOTS of support and confidence in my body. My friends had arranged to have meals brought to our family once the labor signs kick in. We had all the birth kits ready, from crock pot, herbs, to birthing tub in place and all we needed was a baby. I scrubbed every inch of the baseboard, rearranged the kitchen, and bed rooms. I slept, walked, and prayed and repeated the cycle. My 40th week appointment arrived and my body still hadn’t made new progress. My midwife reassured me that a due date isn’t always accurate and I shouldn’t worry. While my contractions went from all over the place to nothing, I tried not to fret as people were curious about how I was doing and showing concerns. Some questions why I was allowed to go pass 40 weeks.
A day before my 41 weeks I felt a gush of fluid and thought surely that was my waters so Janessa conducted the non-stress test. Because we weren’t sure if that was the amniotic fluid she didn’t want to check how far I was dilated fear of infection. She wasn’t concerned since the baby showed no sign of distress. Each day passed I was more than ready to meet our son and praying that day was the day. Still the contractions just weren’t regular. I began to get weary that this baby would never come. I stayed in my room and had a few good cries, went on walks with Danner to keep my mind off the things I couldn’t control. Friends began bringing us meals throughout the week while we waited for labor to progress. Janessa checked in on me several times a day. Then that dreadful 42 weeks appointment approached and there was still no sign of baby. Finally I got the green light on alternating black and blue cohosh. Within the first hour of taking those nasty doses my contractions became more intense and then nothing! I resulted to Caster Oil because I was done being pregnant. I walked miles with Danner and even walked in the misty December rain one evening with our friend Stacy who was going to assist Danner while I’m in labor. I don’t know what I’d do without these two great people who were extremely patience with me through it all. Honestly, I felt the pressure because no one should have to go after being 42 weeks pregnant. I actually felt guilty that my body wouldn’tcooperate. The unproductive contraction continued and my patience wore thin. I knew he would come in his own good time, but when would that be.
The evening after two weeks being past due Danner and I hurried home from our long walk to meet Janessa to conduct another non-stress test. The baby was doing fine and hanging in there comfortably. She knew I was overwhelmed and suggested we "hit the reset button” and just let my body rest without natural induction and stop thinking about having this baby for a little while. It was a great relief for me. I went to bed early that night with dull contractions. At 4:45 am I was woken up with an intense contraction. I knew something was finally happening. I woke Danner up to get ready and to call Janessa and our friend Stacy. I got in the shower and had to concentrate on the breathing as the contractions were getting more painful and closer together. I put on my laboring clothes and both the women arrived after 5:00. We put on some soft music and lit the candles while the tub was being filled, Janessa checked me and I was already 5 centimeter dilated. That was the best news I heard in weeks! Stacy sat with me on the bed and prayed. Janessa massaged my shoulders and applied hot towels on my lower back to give me some relief. The room was warm, dimmed and intimate. I alternated from sitting on the birthing ball to leaning against Danner swaying and focused on breathing and moaning through each contraction, the way that so many women before me had labored. Sometime after 7:00, Janessa suggested sitting on the birth ball again and as I did I felt extremely uncomfortable so I stood up, heard a loud pop and my waters broke. At once I felt the baby’s head fully engaged and yelled the baby was coming. Everyone was so calmed, except for me; I was shaking and couldn’t move. I asked to get in the tub. Danner and Janessa helped me get comfortable and the water felt amazing! Within minutes I asked if I could push and was told whenever I felt ready. Stacy woke up our daughter Allison who had begged to stay up the night before so she could help catch her baby brother. She stood by my shoulder with to Danner who was explaining everything mommy was doing, Stacy continued to pray, and Janessa sat holding a mirror and flash light encouraging me while I took some deep breath and began pushing. After two good push the baby’s head crowned. I checked to see how far I had progressed and I felt hair. It gave me all the courage that the end was near and within seconds I could hold my baby. So one more push his entire body was out. Janessa reached in and pulled the baby to my chest. Right away Isaac Tien Joshua took his first breath and began to cry while he and I locked eyes. Sheer joy filled the room while I took time holding my newborn son as he suckled on my breast. At 7:30 a shofar was blown to announce his birth. Danner cut the cord once it stopped pulsating. We checked out every detail of his perfect body as we waited for my herbal bath to be ready and I delivered the placenta.
Family members were notified of our son’s arrival while I soaked in the herbal bath nursing our baby. I was never rushed to have Isaac assessed until both he and I were ready. From the evaluation, Isaac looked like he was born right on time and was not overdue. A couple of hours after his birth, Danner and Janessa got everything cleaned up while I rested with Isaac and Allison on the bed. Family members came to meet new baby. The transition was so calmed and relaxing all in the comfort of our home. Right away Isaac had his night and day figured out and nursed like a champ. I felt great and bounced back with less than half the time I did with Allison.
Looking back my home birth experience was truly a supernatural birth and full of healing. I felt empowered when I recognized my strength. I felt like a lioness roaring as I ushered my son into the world on my own without being told what to do or how and when to do it. Not only did I experience a quick and very little pain childbirth I got to see how God weaved friends into our lives to lift us up through prayers and support. Our entire family anticipated in the process. Our daughter will never have to wonder when it is her turn to bring her own children into the world. Even the midst of excitement I took time to reminisce the peace that God had instilled in me and knowing that I did everything right for me and my family. I am thankful I was allowed to wait on my son’s perfect timing. Moreover, we received many miracles throughout my pregnancy and two of which were having my delivery and birthing tub paid for through generous gifts.
Wednesday, June 1
Thursday, March 3
Family First
Since December Danner has been working while attending school. He's suppose to work part-time only, however, they schedule him some weeks after 35 hours so he's been gone a lot. This really takes a tole on all of us. This morning right before Danner left for work, Allison got up and was really upset that he had to leave again because she was in bed asleep before he got home. So, she cried while held on tight to him. He was all teared up too and got me weepy as well. He left and I got Allison all cheered up again because he was to get off early and have dinner with us before people show up at our home for our Home Group.
While I was at work, Danner called me and said that he will be making adjustment with his work schedule to spend more time with us. Thank You, Father, for allowing my husband to feel this way because for several weeks I've asked to do something about it. I look forward to having my sweet husband home by dinner time and Sunday off for church and rest.
We're putting the Lord above all and our family comes before ministries, school & work. This is a season that He turns the fathers/mothers toward their children and children toward their fathers/mothers. This is the only way to make family works for us.
While I was at work, Danner called me and said that he will be making adjustment with his work schedule to spend more time with us. Thank You, Father, for allowing my husband to feel this way because for several weeks I've asked to do something about it. I look forward to having my sweet husband home by dinner time and Sunday off for church and rest.
We're putting the Lord above all and our family comes before ministries, school & work. This is a season that He turns the fathers/mothers toward their children and children toward their fathers/mothers. This is the only way to make family works for us.
Tuesday, March 1
"I Owe It to Me"
March is here!!! I couldn't sleep for some reasons so I got up to spend sometime reading a devotional while listening to I.H.O.P. Webstream. I'm taking my leave from facebook for a while to get spend sometime taking care of my spiritual, emotional, and physical health. The past few months went by fast though chaotic. After the loss of our "Baby Jacob" I've had my ups and downs. Then a chains of events that triggered some emotional trauma of the past that I thought I dealt with came surfaced. I'm thankful that they surfaced so that I can deal with them. I made an appointment with the Healing Rooms and can't wait to begin my journey to healing.
In my devotional Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Wow, my Daddy God loves so me so much that He longs for me to be still and draw closer to Him and sings over me. I want to be still for Him, even if it means my house will be messy, chores aren't done to perfection, craft projects will left on the shelf for a while, etc.
My Daddy takes delight in me. All my life, I don't ever remember my dad telling me he is proud of me for anything good I've done or for any accomplishments. In someway he shows it by showing up at the events with his fancy camera and takes pictures. He never says anything directly to me. Sometimes he even lectures me so I am greatful he ignores me and my achievements. But not my Daddy God! He delights in me even when I didn't win anything or done anything good. He just loves me because He took great delights in creating me in His own image and placing me in my mother's womb. He says I am "fearfully and wonderfully made."
Because I am so beautiful and precious in His eye, I want to take care of what He had given me and take care of my temple. I am not excessively overweight, though I kept 5 pounds since I got married and had a baby. I have been fine with it, not overly obessed with losing the pounds, but I'm not exactly content with it because I know I can do better. It's not because I don't have a choice, it's just simply because I have been lazy and neglecting my wellness. I noticed I am not as active. My sleep pattern's all messed up so when I get to sleep I sleep in really late. This doesn't work out well with having a toddler who sleeps for 10-12 hours a night. When she rises, she's all perky!! I don't like that I feel tired more so I stay in bed quite a bit and she thinks I am always sick. It concerns her and I can tell it effects her as well.
So, with all this said, I am contending for complete healing and restoration along with a new body for the summer and as well as for my sister's wedding in June. I am the matron of honor and I want to look fine in that pretty bridesmaid dress. :-) I am sure my sweet husband doesn't mind having a hot looking wife again! In turn, I hope I motivate him to get fit too.
So here's the plan:
- spend 1-hr with the Lord
- pray continually
- praise Him often
- journal daily
- plan healthier meals
- eat healthy
- drink more water (weaning off sodas)
- exercise daily
- spend more time with Allison outside
- get adequate amount of sleep
- rise early
- smile often
- love more!
In my devotional Zephaniah 3:17 "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Wow, my Daddy God loves so me so much that He longs for me to be still and draw closer to Him and sings over me. I want to be still for Him, even if it means my house will be messy, chores aren't done to perfection, craft projects will left on the shelf for a while, etc.
My Daddy takes delight in me. All my life, I don't ever remember my dad telling me he is proud of me for anything good I've done or for any accomplishments. In someway he shows it by showing up at the events with his fancy camera and takes pictures. He never says anything directly to me. Sometimes he even lectures me so I am greatful he ignores me and my achievements. But not my Daddy God! He delights in me even when I didn't win anything or done anything good. He just loves me because He took great delights in creating me in His own image and placing me in my mother's womb. He says I am "fearfully and wonderfully made."
Because I am so beautiful and precious in His eye, I want to take care of what He had given me and take care of my temple. I am not excessively overweight, though I kept 5 pounds since I got married and had a baby. I have been fine with it, not overly obessed with losing the pounds, but I'm not exactly content with it because I know I can do better. It's not because I don't have a choice, it's just simply because I have been lazy and neglecting my wellness. I noticed I am not as active. My sleep pattern's all messed up so when I get to sleep I sleep in really late. This doesn't work out well with having a toddler who sleeps for 10-12 hours a night. When she rises, she's all perky!! I don't like that I feel tired more so I stay in bed quite a bit and she thinks I am always sick. It concerns her and I can tell it effects her as well.
So, with all this said, I am contending for complete healing and restoration along with a new body for the summer and as well as for my sister's wedding in June. I am the matron of honor and I want to look fine in that pretty bridesmaid dress. :-) I am sure my sweet husband doesn't mind having a hot looking wife again! In turn, I hope I motivate him to get fit too.
So here's the plan:
- spend 1-hr with the Lord
- pray continually
- praise Him often
- journal daily
- plan healthier meals
- eat healthy
- drink more water (weaning off sodas)
- exercise daily
- spend more time with Allison outside
- get adequate amount of sleep
- rise early
- smile often
- love more!
Monday, February 14
Monday, February 7
Focusing on Beauty
I've been taking sometime for myself and focus on things that are beautiful. I've been needing something to keep my mind clear and gave myself a purpose during this time healing. I am thankful that I healed very quickly and can honestly say that I feel like I am physically back to normal, except for my emotions. Yesterday and today have been a bit off. I would get a burst of anger, bitterness, resentful at things that shouldn't have bothered me. I would cry and spill my guts out over the littlest things. I feel like I'm crazy! My poor husband is at lost as he doesn't know how to console this emotional wife and probably still a bit hormonal too. Please pray for him!!
So, this is the list of 28 things I would like to do, make, or fix in 28 days of February. I want to bless my family and friends with my projects, but I know all of these will bless my heart even more. I want the Lord to inspire me through beauty and purpose. These are done in no particular order. Just whatever comes my way and time I have available to do them. I am so excited!!
1 ORGANIZE PANTRY {CHECK}
2 CLOTHE PINS DECORATING {CHECK}
3 PLAN GARDEN CLUB {CHECK}
4 PLAN ENGAGEMENT PARTY
5 VALENTINE'S PROJECT
6 INVITE A FAMILY FOR DINNER {CHECK}
7 STOCK EMERGENCY FOOD
8 TAKE DOGS TO THE VET
9 CREATE SOMETHING WITH CHALKBOARD PAINT {CHECK}
10 ORGANIZE ALLISON'S TOYS
11 FIELD TRIP/CRAFT DAY WITH ALLISON
12 ATTEND GARDEN SEMINAR
13 MAKE SNOW ICE-CREAM {CHECK}
14 DATE MY SWEET HUSBAND
15 SEW SOMETHING
16 TAKE PICTURES
17 ORGANIZE PICTURES
18 CLEAN HOUSE/DECORATE HOST ENGAGEMENT PARTY
19 GET A HAIR CUT
20 ATTEND A BABY SHOWER
21 MAKE COPIES OF CITIZENSHIP CERTIFICATE
22 CHANGE SOCIAL SECURITY INFO.
23 ATTEND BIRTHDAY PARTY {CHECK}
24 WASH CARS
25 PURGE HOUSEHOLD ITEMS
26 PURGE CLOTHES
27 DROP OFF DONATION TO LOCAL CHARITY
28 SHAMPOO CARPET
So, this is the list of 28 things I would like to do, make, or fix in 28 days of February. I want to bless my family and friends with my projects, but I know all of these will bless my heart even more. I want the Lord to inspire me through beauty and purpose. These are done in no particular order. Just whatever comes my way and time I have available to do them. I am so excited!!
1 ORGANIZE PANTRY {CHECK}
2 CLOTHE PINS DECORATING {CHECK}
3 PLAN GARDEN CLUB {CHECK}
4 PLAN ENGAGEMENT PARTY
5 VALENTINE'S PROJECT
6 INVITE A FAMILY FOR DINNER {CHECK}
7 STOCK EMERGENCY FOOD
8 TAKE DOGS TO THE VET
9 CREATE SOMETHING WITH CHALKBOARD PAINT {CHECK}
10 ORGANIZE ALLISON'S TOYS
11 FIELD TRIP/CRAFT DAY WITH ALLISON
12 ATTEND GARDEN SEMINAR
13 MAKE SNOW ICE-CREAM {CHECK}
14 DATE MY SWEET HUSBAND
15 SEW SOMETHING
16 TAKE PICTURES
17 ORGANIZE PICTURES
18 CLEAN HOUSE/DECORATE HOST ENGAGEMENT PARTY
19 GET A HAIR CUT
20 ATTEND A BABY SHOWER
21 MAKE COPIES OF CITIZENSHIP CERTIFICATE
22 CHANGE SOCIAL SECURITY INFO.
23 ATTEND BIRTHDAY PARTY {CHECK}
24 WASH CARS
25 PURGE HOUSEHOLD ITEMS
26 PURGE CLOTHES
27 DROP OFF DONATION TO LOCAL CHARITY
28 SHAMPOO CARPET
I got this thing of Modge Podge and exacto knife since I was a senior in college. It's so good to see them both again!
I'm going to add magnet strips to the back of the pegs to hold pictures or Allison's art work on our Fridge. She's quite an Artist in the Making!
Decorating Clothes Pegs (purchased at Walmart and I can't remember how much for a package) with Scrapbooking Paper I got on Clearance (6/$1.00). Here's where I got the idea to make these beautiful things!!
I'm going to add magnet strips to the back of the pegs to hold pictures or Allison's art work on our Fridge. She's quite an Artist in the Making!
Tuesday, January 25
This is Hard
Tuesday is better than Monday. I feel numb all day. I don't know how to express this feeling. Sometimes I am silent and slighty smile and feel okay when people hug me and tell me they are sorry for me and other times I cry. This is hard. I am still so mixed up in my emotions and trusting the Lord to help me grieve.
I know how to grieve for the loss of relatives. I know how to grieve when I was rejected by my parents. But I don't know how to grieve for the loss of my own baby. I know not everyone grieve the same way because we are all made differently. Perhaps it is because my calling is to preserve LIFE.
It is hard because I work in the ministry that tries to save the unborn. We interceed for those who have no voice. I work with clients who are pregnant. Some may even be due in the month of September. I work with customers who are thrilled with new babies coming into their lives. I am happy for them and congratulate them. I know now how precious life really is so I rejoice for LIFE with them.
It is hard when they ask me how I am doing. I don't know how to share with them how I really feel. Again I just feel numb. I feel broken and humbled to walk in this.
I went in for my blood work and of course they had to poke me twice. I am terrified of needles so I tried really hard to squeeze out a little bit of blood for them to make sure I will be okay again. Now my arm is sore and bruised. I am to return next week for more lab work. I pray that my body will get back to normal again.
I received lots of hug today. My Pastor came by my store to pray with me. I needed that. He just lost his mother in December and I know it was painful for him too to share with me and encouraged me. I love my Pastor & his wife for their geniune hearts. My mother-in-law came to see me after work with hugs and flowers. She knows I love flowers, especially calli lillies. It helped because Allison loved the flowers too and claimed they were for her and I believe that's true. She needs some colors to brighten her day as well. A friend gave me a book with beautiful pictures of angelic looking babies.
Danner came home with a box for Jacob. It is so tiny! I know he is in Heaven with the Lord and what's here will turn to ashes. We will bury him together and spend sometime praying for each other. We will be picking out a plant for memorance. It is strange to believe that Danner and I are parents of two. We love him already!! (sorry this is such random thoughts, but this is how I'm feeling).
We are blessed with the beautiful Allison. She is our joy! She makes life better! She gives me hope!
I know how to grieve for the loss of relatives. I know how to grieve when I was rejected by my parents. But I don't know how to grieve for the loss of my own baby. I know not everyone grieve the same way because we are all made differently. Perhaps it is because my calling is to preserve LIFE.
It is hard because I work in the ministry that tries to save the unborn. We interceed for those who have no voice. I work with clients who are pregnant. Some may even be due in the month of September. I work with customers who are thrilled with new babies coming into their lives. I am happy for them and congratulate them. I know now how precious life really is so I rejoice for LIFE with them.
It is hard when they ask me how I am doing. I don't know how to share with them how I really feel. Again I just feel numb. I feel broken and humbled to walk in this.
I went in for my blood work and of course they had to poke me twice. I am terrified of needles so I tried really hard to squeeze out a little bit of blood for them to make sure I will be okay again. Now my arm is sore and bruised. I am to return next week for more lab work. I pray that my body will get back to normal again.
I received lots of hug today. My Pastor came by my store to pray with me. I needed that. He just lost his mother in December and I know it was painful for him too to share with me and encouraged me. I love my Pastor & his wife for their geniune hearts. My mother-in-law came to see me after work with hugs and flowers. She knows I love flowers, especially calli lillies. It helped because Allison loved the flowers too and claimed they were for her and I believe that's true. She needs some colors to brighten her day as well. A friend gave me a book with beautiful pictures of angelic looking babies.
Danner came home with a box for Jacob. It is so tiny! I know he is in Heaven with the Lord and what's here will turn to ashes. We will bury him together and spend sometime praying for each other. We will be picking out a plant for memorance. It is strange to believe that Danner and I are parents of two. We love him already!! (sorry this is such random thoughts, but this is how I'm feeling).
We are blessed with the beautiful Allison. She is our joy! She makes life better! She gives me hope!
Monday, January 24
"JACOB"
Friday morning of January 14 Danner and I were so thrilled to be parents again! We could hardly contain our joy and excitement and wanted to tell the whole world about our baby coming September 11th. However, we felt like we needed to wait a while longer to announce it publicly. We only told a few close friends so they can pray with us and share our joy. That was the same week I caught the flu and sinus infection. I was miserable for a week and was so weak. The Lord healed me quickly and I was so happy for that although my cough remained.
The entire time I was looking forwad to telling everyone about our new baby and was thinking of ways to announce our news. I just felt so connected with the baby and I just grew so much love for Allison (more than I knew I could love a person). Then I felt something went wrong Tuesday evening of the 18th but disregarded as cramping due to implantation. Wednesday came along and I went to New Beginnings Pregnancy Services, my work place, for an ultrasound because the ladies there are so thrilled for me (yes, they were the few that we told). During the u/s session the nurse couldn't find a the gestational sac. But she assured me that we're probably a few weeks earlier than expected and that she would do another u/s in a few weeks to see. I felt it was okay but I had that nagging feeling that something was wrong. I came home and days following I continued to have light spotting. Danner reassured me that everything was going to be okay, but I didn't feel okay.
Monday of January 24th I found out that I had miscarried the baby. Danner and I cried together in disbelief. We're still crying about when we are together and talking about it. It is good that we are talking about it because it helps me grieve. Although we never told Allison about the baby since we didn't want to tell everyone too early, however, she knew that she was getting a little brother so she tells everyone anyway. We just laughed about it even though we wanted to agree with her many times. She came to me with her arms wide open asking me to pick her up this morning and I did. She told me "I really liked that baby." Oh, it hurts!! It hurts because she knew and she was right!! So I told her that her baby brother went to Heaven to be with Jesus and our Papa. She is still trying to wrap her mind around this but she's only three years old and we'll explain to her more as she gets older.
We told members of our families and it was hard. We still have the baby and we will bury him together. We know the Lord is good and faithful until the end. He has our baby now and is taking good care of him for us. We look forward to the day we meet "Jacob" in heaven along with those we love! I know some may question how do I know it was a boy. I know because the Lord revealed this to me. I had seen a glimpse of my son before I even knew I was pregnant. I just knew! The knowlege that goes beyond understanding and explaination. Danner told me that the Lord will name our baby for us so I asked what his name would be. Immediately I heard "JACOB" so I shared with Danner about it and he agreed with me.
I know that this is the season that Danner and I must lean in on one another to go through this together. I ask the Lord to give us strength to love one and other; that He would grow deep roots in our marriage. I love this man so much and couldn't imagine going through this with another person.
"Blessed are those that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
The entire time I was looking forwad to telling everyone about our new baby and was thinking of ways to announce our news. I just felt so connected with the baby and I just grew so much love for Allison (more than I knew I could love a person). Then I felt something went wrong Tuesday evening of the 18th but disregarded as cramping due to implantation. Wednesday came along and I went to New Beginnings Pregnancy Services, my work place, for an ultrasound because the ladies there are so thrilled for me (yes, they were the few that we told). During the u/s session the nurse couldn't find a the gestational sac. But she assured me that we're probably a few weeks earlier than expected and that she would do another u/s in a few weeks to see. I felt it was okay but I had that nagging feeling that something was wrong. I came home and days following I continued to have light spotting. Danner reassured me that everything was going to be okay, but I didn't feel okay.
Monday of January 24th I found out that I had miscarried the baby. Danner and I cried together in disbelief. We're still crying about when we are together and talking about it. It is good that we are talking about it because it helps me grieve. Although we never told Allison about the baby since we didn't want to tell everyone too early, however, she knew that she was getting a little brother so she tells everyone anyway. We just laughed about it even though we wanted to agree with her many times. She came to me with her arms wide open asking me to pick her up this morning and I did. She told me "I really liked that baby." Oh, it hurts!! It hurts because she knew and she was right!! So I told her that her baby brother went to Heaven to be with Jesus and our Papa. She is still trying to wrap her mind around this but she's only three years old and we'll explain to her more as she gets older.
We told members of our families and it was hard. We still have the baby and we will bury him together. We know the Lord is good and faithful until the end. He has our baby now and is taking good care of him for us. We look forward to the day we meet "Jacob" in heaven along with those we love! I know some may question how do I know it was a boy. I know because the Lord revealed this to me. I had seen a glimpse of my son before I even knew I was pregnant. I just knew! The knowlege that goes beyond understanding and explaination. Danner told me that the Lord will name our baby for us so I asked what his name would be. Immediately I heard "JACOB" so I shared with Danner about it and he agreed with me.
I know that this is the season that Danner and I must lean in on one another to go through this together. I ask the Lord to give us strength to love one and other; that He would grow deep roots in our marriage. I love this man so much and couldn't imagine going through this with another person.
"Blessed are those that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4
Tuesday, January 18
Tru Evelyn
January 18th - A dear friend and neighbor gave birth to her daughter - Tru Evelyn. She was 10 lbs 0z and 21 inches long. No wonder her labor took so long and took an entire facebook community on our seats waiting for the arrival of this baby. Tabbitha did not find out the baby's gender so it was a complete surprise! This is their fifth baby and they're so overwhelmed with love, joy, and humble hearts.
I truly admire Tabbitha for all that she is! She loves God first of all and she loves all her children. She carries her motherhood mantel so well. I'm delighted to learn from her.
I am honestly nervous about this new season the Lord is allowing me to step into. So much in store ahead of us. Possible new career for Danner. Allison's now taking gymnastic lessons. I am still with New Beginnings and trusting the Lord to lead my life and calling in the ministry.
God is so good when we trust in Him with all our hearts, souls, and minds.
I truly admire Tabbitha for all that she is! She loves God first of all and she loves all her children. She carries her motherhood mantel so well. I'm delighted to learn from her.
I am honestly nervous about this new season the Lord is allowing me to step into. So much in store ahead of us. Possible new career for Danner. Allison's now taking gymnastic lessons. I am still with New Beginnings and trusting the Lord to lead my life and calling in the ministry.
God is so good when we trust in Him with all our hearts, souls, and minds.
Sunday, January 16
Season of Labor
January 14th a friend from John Brown University gave birth to a healthy baby boy and everything about him is perfect. I loved seeing all of the new pictures posted on Facebook. I'm so thankful for LIFE!!
This evening I received an email from a church friend/neighbor informing us that she's starting her labor and it could be midnight tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm thankful I'm asked to pray for her labor and delivery. It is such a wonderful privilege to be ask to pray and anticipate with those who are bringing new life into the world. I'm so thankful for my friend and the way the Lord weaved us all together. I am along with many others are waiting for every Facebook update or email so we can know what she's having! Yes, she really went through the entire nine months without knowing her baby's gender. They're leaving it as a complete surprise. I want that for myself but I'm not sure if I can take not knowing.
There are several friends on Facebook that are expecting too. One just completed her first 20 weeks! Wow, I'm so amazed at us all and how we all grow in different season. What a blessing to watch all of this unfold.
Father, thank You for new life! Thank You for blessing each and everyone of these women who had brought life, carrying life in their womb, and laboring. I ask that You would encounter each of them right where they are. One might be nursing, one might be trying to get some sleep before the next sleepless wave hit, one might be experiencing birth pangs right now. Would You put Your hands over them and give them peace, Father. The peace that goes beyond understanding and only comes from You. Let them feel Your infinite love, Jesus, as they are embracing the task You've given them. Amen.
This evening I received an email from a church friend/neighbor informing us that she's starting her labor and it could be midnight tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm thankful I'm asked to pray for her labor and delivery. It is such a wonderful privilege to be ask to pray and anticipate with those who are bringing new life into the world. I'm so thankful for my friend and the way the Lord weaved us all together. I am along with many others are waiting for every Facebook update or email so we can know what she's having! Yes, she really went through the entire nine months without knowing her baby's gender. They're leaving it as a complete surprise. I want that for myself but I'm not sure if I can take not knowing.
There are several friends on Facebook that are expecting too. One just completed her first 20 weeks! Wow, I'm so amazed at us all and how we all grow in different season. What a blessing to watch all of this unfold.
Father, thank You for new life! Thank You for blessing each and everyone of these women who had brought life, carrying life in their womb, and laboring. I ask that You would encounter each of them right where they are. One might be nursing, one might be trying to get some sleep before the next sleepless wave hit, one might be experiencing birth pangs right now. Would You put Your hands over them and give them peace, Father. The peace that goes beyond understanding and only comes from You. Let them feel Your infinite love, Jesus, as they are embracing the task You've given them. Amen.
Saturday, January 15
T'is the season for sneezing
I'm so thankful our family hadn't had any major sickness the past year. The Lord has been protecting us from harm. He is so good to His children. I came home from work on Tuesday and everything was fine until late that evening I started to feel crummy. Then Wednesday morning was a full blown of sneezing, achiness, coughing, headache, dehydration, sore throat and ear ache. I thought if I could give myself sometime to rest on Wednesday, which thankfully was my day off, so I slept for a long time and felt a little better.
I had promised Allison I was taking her to her first gymnastic lesson/sign up. I felt really bad then but I felt even worse if I couldn't keep my promise so I mustered up all my strength to pick her up at our Mema's house (her great-grandma) and got her there early to sign her up. Changed her out of her thick clothes to gym clothes. My little baby is no longer a baby that day as she sat down among her class mates and listened attentively to their teacher. I sat on the chairs and couldn't help myself to keep switching to different seats so I can see her better. Finally I got up on the second level to observe. She was so precious to me! I love my baby so much! She did the best she could since it was her first lesson but she enjoyed it thoroughly. At the end she got a stamped star on her hand and refused to let me hold that hand because she was afraid it was going to be ruined.
We got home, I made dinner for us and ate together. Then I gave her a bath because she skipped nap that afternoon. She was worried about her star on hand getting wet because she wanted Daddy to see it. So I asked her wait as I ran to grab the camera. When I got back she had already poured water on her hand and the star was vanishing before our eyes. Oops! I reassured her that she'll get another star next time she goes. She was happy about that. After a nice bath I got her ready for the evening. We read a story, snuggled for a while and then she settled in.
I began to feel worsen that evening that I emailed in to work letting everyone know I was sick with a cold and needed their prayers. I was so sick on Thursday and thankful that Danner was home all day to take care of me and Allison. He's such a good husband and Daddy. My condition worsen Thursday night. I couldn't sleep because of the coughing, nasal and throat burn everytime I swallow. Kept drinking ice-water and having to get up to use the bathroom.
Friday morning I gave in and asked if we could schedule an appointment to see the doctor so Danner set that up for me. Because he had to leave for work at 3pm I had to drive myself to the doctor's office while he dropped Allison off at the in-laws for the weekend. There at the doctors office they diagnosed me with a sinus infection with fluid behind my ear that caused my balance to be all over the place. Then Danner came to join me in the doctor's office before he had to leave for work. I asked the doctor if it's not the flu, and he wasn't sure as I was still running a fever. So he thought we should take a test anyway. Turned out I was right. I had the flu! To top that off I had the sinus infection too.
I came home without filling the prescription because I was so exhausted. Last night I slept really well without waking up to drink water and my nasal passage and throat didn't bother me as much and coughing wasn't as frequent. This morning I woke up and started coughing up stuff. This means everything is draining from my sinus. My achiness is gone and I'm feeling a lot better. Probably 60% better. Just want the rest of me to full recovered. Since I didn't fill my prescription and my body is recovering that means my body is beating the virus and infection on its own. I love it when our body just mend itself. Of course, I'm sure with many prayer warriors I have around me, no wonder I'm feeling better!
I'm thankful for Jesus today! For my husband who is so patience with me and takes good care of me and Allison. For my in-laws who took care of Allison while I'm under the weather and preventing her from catching the crud too. Now I'm going back to resting before Danner and Allison come home. I miss spending time with favorite two people! I've been pushing them away, especially Allison because I didn't want her to catch it too. I feel bad but I know it's better for her.
I had promised Allison I was taking her to her first gymnastic lesson/sign up. I felt really bad then but I felt even worse if I couldn't keep my promise so I mustered up all my strength to pick her up at our Mema's house (her great-grandma) and got her there early to sign her up. Changed her out of her thick clothes to gym clothes. My little baby is no longer a baby that day as she sat down among her class mates and listened attentively to their teacher. I sat on the chairs and couldn't help myself to keep switching to different seats so I can see her better. Finally I got up on the second level to observe. She was so precious to me! I love my baby so much! She did the best she could since it was her first lesson but she enjoyed it thoroughly. At the end she got a stamped star on her hand and refused to let me hold that hand because she was afraid it was going to be ruined.
We got home, I made dinner for us and ate together. Then I gave her a bath because she skipped nap that afternoon. She was worried about her star on hand getting wet because she wanted Daddy to see it. So I asked her wait as I ran to grab the camera. When I got back she had already poured water on her hand and the star was vanishing before our eyes. Oops! I reassured her that she'll get another star next time she goes. She was happy about that. After a nice bath I got her ready for the evening. We read a story, snuggled for a while and then she settled in.
I began to feel worsen that evening that I emailed in to work letting everyone know I was sick with a cold and needed their prayers. I was so sick on Thursday and thankful that Danner was home all day to take care of me and Allison. He's such a good husband and Daddy. My condition worsen Thursday night. I couldn't sleep because of the coughing, nasal and throat burn everytime I swallow. Kept drinking ice-water and having to get up to use the bathroom.
Friday morning I gave in and asked if we could schedule an appointment to see the doctor so Danner set that up for me. Because he had to leave for work at 3pm I had to drive myself to the doctor's office while he dropped Allison off at the in-laws for the weekend. There at the doctors office they diagnosed me with a sinus infection with fluid behind my ear that caused my balance to be all over the place. Then Danner came to join me in the doctor's office before he had to leave for work. I asked the doctor if it's not the flu, and he wasn't sure as I was still running a fever. So he thought we should take a test anyway. Turned out I was right. I had the flu! To top that off I had the sinus infection too.
I came home without filling the prescription because I was so exhausted. Last night I slept really well without waking up to drink water and my nasal passage and throat didn't bother me as much and coughing wasn't as frequent. This morning I woke up and started coughing up stuff. This means everything is draining from my sinus. My achiness is gone and I'm feeling a lot better. Probably 60% better. Just want the rest of me to full recovered. Since I didn't fill my prescription and my body is recovering that means my body is beating the virus and infection on its own. I love it when our body just mend itself. Of course, I'm sure with many prayer warriors I have around me, no wonder I'm feeling better!
I'm thankful for Jesus today! For my husband who is so patience with me and takes good care of me and Allison. For my in-laws who took care of Allison while I'm under the weather and preventing her from catching the crud too. Now I'm going back to resting before Danner and Allison come home. I miss spending time with favorite two people! I've been pushing them away, especially Allison because I didn't want her to catch it too. I feel bad but I know it's better for her.
Tuesday, January 11
Simply Happy
My heart is happy. The Lord healed my back on New Year's Eve in Kansas City, MO when I was among 20k people worshiping Him. He gave me dreams and gifts. I was among thousand of Asians and we were all prayed for. A lady prayed for me and I'm sure unbeknownst to her that her prayer was a confirmation to what the Lord is calling us into - mission to Vietnam!!!
More details later!
More details later!
Friday, January 7
Happy Anniversary to Us!!!
Today Danner and I are celebrating our five years of marriage!!!! Praise the Lord for walking with us through our fiery tests and trials and blessed us with so many things - our Daughter Allison especially!! This morning she came running into our room, climbing on our bed and greeting us with a huge smile on her facing knowing nothing about our anniversary. I watched my husband smiling at her and studying her every move because he is so in love with her as well. I'm so thankful for such a loving husband and beautiful daughter to have and to hold.
The Lord has been faithful and good to our family. This is a BIG stepping stone for our family. We're ready for a new season that's in store for us!
Happy 2011!!!!!!
The Lord has been faithful and good to our family. This is a BIG stepping stone for our family. We're ready for a new season that's in store for us!
Happy 2011!!!!!!
Monday, November 1
Several years ago the Lord placed the plight of the orphan on the heart of our family. We felt strongly that we are being called into the ministry of adoption. While our circumstances have not allowed us to adopt yet, we have not lost that calling in our lives.
At the beginning of the year the Lord impressed it on my heart as I watched a family from our church raise funds for their adoptive daughter Emaway from Haiti. While I was preparing a meal for my family, I prayed about what the Lord would have me do to support them. I knew that the small amount we could afford to give would not add up to much with the big price tag they had to pay to give Emaway a forever home. Then an idea came to me, I believe it was the Lord prompting me to step out and into something bigger than I could ever imagine and it would involve our entire family. We felt that the Lord was calling us to do more than just give money or pray alone. He was calling us to be His hands on the earth and go to work for the Kingdom. With my husband Danner’s blessing I contacted Shelley Womack and received her permission to make fresh homemade Vietnamese egg rolls and spring rolls to raise funds on their behalf. We moved on to praying for provision of supplies and cooking equipment. One by one people brought their deep fryer, a full tank of propane, and other items to help with our effort. The word spread fast through the facebook community and orders started pouring in to support the great cause.
Danner went from one Asian Market to another to gather ingredients to fill our orders. We packed our daughter Allison’s overnight bag and sent her to Danner’s parents so we could focus on the task. Together we prepped everything the night before and rose before dawn on Sunday to begin wrapping, frying, boxing and passing out of orders after church let out. It was not easy work but we covered ourselves in prayers and met our goal. We truly felt the Lord blessed our marriage because of the fund raiser. We were thankful when all 30 orders were picked up and money came in. We felt even more blessed when our daughter handed the money to the adopting family.
October came and we felt like it was time to do another fund raiser for Randy and Tina Kacirek’s adoptive son Maxim in Ukraine. In Ukraine and some other Eastern block countries, children who cannot feed themselves, walk or talk by the age of four are sent to institutions where they will lived the remainder of their lives. In 2006 Tina visited Torez mental institution to care for the children and pray for more doors to be opened to minister to these children. There she met Maxim and felt a special bond, a connection that could only be orchestrated by God. When she inquired about him she learned that none of these children were being allowed to be adopted because it was unknown where the paperwork for the children was. They were not registered with the adoption authorities in Ukraine. Most of these children when they die are placed in a wooden box and buried in unmarked graves behind the institution. Tina vowed the day she left Maxim, to both him and God, that if a door were opened and if a way made, she and Randy would return for him. In April of this year, Father God revealed to Tina that a way HAD indeed been made for Maxim to be adopted.
It was obvious that the Lord had weaved Maxim into our hearts before we even met the Kacirek family face to face. We were touched by his life and Randy and Tina’s dream to bring Maxim home. This time we prayed to expand our fund raiser further. The Lord answered our prayers by allowing us more time and more strategic planning to almost double our orders of eggrolls and spring rolls. This time we asked for help from family members and friends to make it a successful fund raiser. We even included our daughter in the whole process and now we are so proud that she understands the meaning of adoption at the age of two. Upon hearing about our last fund raiser, several people approached us with seed money that enabled us to get all the supplies we needed. It took us two weekends to complete all the orders. To accomplish our monetary goal I volunteered to detail a truck at a local detailing business in Siloam Springs to wrap up the whole event. When we were done we were able to see how God multiplied our work ten fold. This will not be the last fund raiser we do for families who are adopting. We plan on continuing to grow both the number of families that we can bless as well as the amount we can bless them with. We even created a name for our fund raising, S.A.V.E. (Spring rolls And Vietnamese Egg rolls) for Adoption. More than anything we want to show people that you don't have to adopt a child or give a lot of money to make a big difference in the Kingdom. Just listen to what the Father’s heart tells you and then do it. It's that simple.
At the beginning of the year the Lord impressed it on my heart as I watched a family from our church raise funds for their adoptive daughter Emaway from Haiti. While I was preparing a meal for my family, I prayed about what the Lord would have me do to support them. I knew that the small amount we could afford to give would not add up to much with the big price tag they had to pay to give Emaway a forever home. Then an idea came to me, I believe it was the Lord prompting me to step out and into something bigger than I could ever imagine and it would involve our entire family. We felt that the Lord was calling us to do more than just give money or pray alone. He was calling us to be His hands on the earth and go to work for the Kingdom. With my husband Danner’s blessing I contacted Shelley Womack and received her permission to make fresh homemade Vietnamese egg rolls and spring rolls to raise funds on their behalf. We moved on to praying for provision of supplies and cooking equipment. One by one people brought their deep fryer, a full tank of propane, and other items to help with our effort. The word spread fast through the facebook community and orders started pouring in to support the great cause.
Danner went from one Asian Market to another to gather ingredients to fill our orders. We packed our daughter Allison’s overnight bag and sent her to Danner’s parents so we could focus on the task. Together we prepped everything the night before and rose before dawn on Sunday to begin wrapping, frying, boxing and passing out of orders after church let out. It was not easy work but we covered ourselves in prayers and met our goal. We truly felt the Lord blessed our marriage because of the fund raiser. We were thankful when all 30 orders were picked up and money came in. We felt even more blessed when our daughter handed the money to the adopting family.
October came and we felt like it was time to do another fund raiser for Randy and Tina Kacirek’s adoptive son Maxim in Ukraine. In Ukraine and some other Eastern block countries, children who cannot feed themselves, walk or talk by the age of four are sent to institutions where they will lived the remainder of their lives. In 2006 Tina visited Torez mental institution to care for the children and pray for more doors to be opened to minister to these children. There she met Maxim and felt a special bond, a connection that could only be orchestrated by God. When she inquired about him she learned that none of these children were being allowed to be adopted because it was unknown where the paperwork for the children was. They were not registered with the adoption authorities in Ukraine. Most of these children when they die are placed in a wooden box and buried in unmarked graves behind the institution. Tina vowed the day she left Maxim, to both him and God, that if a door were opened and if a way made, she and Randy would return for him. In April of this year, Father God revealed to Tina that a way HAD indeed been made for Maxim to be adopted.
It was obvious that the Lord had weaved Maxim into our hearts before we even met the Kacirek family face to face. We were touched by his life and Randy and Tina’s dream to bring Maxim home. This time we prayed to expand our fund raiser further. The Lord answered our prayers by allowing us more time and more strategic planning to almost double our orders of eggrolls and spring rolls. This time we asked for help from family members and friends to make it a successful fund raiser. We even included our daughter in the whole process and now we are so proud that she understands the meaning of adoption at the age of two. Upon hearing about our last fund raiser, several people approached us with seed money that enabled us to get all the supplies we needed. It took us two weekends to complete all the orders. To accomplish our monetary goal I volunteered to detail a truck at a local detailing business in Siloam Springs to wrap up the whole event. When we were done we were able to see how God multiplied our work ten fold. This will not be the last fund raiser we do for families who are adopting. We plan on continuing to grow both the number of families that we can bless as well as the amount we can bless them with. We even created a name for our fund raising, S.A.V.E. (Spring rolls And Vietnamese Egg rolls) for Adoption. More than anything we want to show people that you don't have to adopt a child or give a lot of money to make a big difference in the Kingdom. Just listen to what the Father’s heart tells you and then do it. It's that simple.
Friday, September 17
Look What the Lord Had Done!!!!
Dear All,
Look what the Lord had blessed our family with!! Almost a year since last November Danner lost his job so we got down to just one vehicle. We made it work for our family all this time since we live right behind the Resale Store. Coming up this September 30, our lease is up and our landlord wants to sell the house, we had to look for another place. We prayed for a months for the right house for our family that God wants for us to have. Finally we found it and signed the lease! That's a blessing in itself, however, with moving away from the store, with having one vehicle between the two of us and with Danner in school full time it is hard to get me from home to work and work to pick up Allison from our babysitter (her great-grandma). So we prayed for open door on transportation. We were given a bicycle by my Director at New Beginnings so I pulled a bike trailer behind it to pick Allison up. As winter is approaching and leave little day light for me to ride safely with a child, I silently asked the Lord to protect us and provide a beat up vehicle that we can afford. Late that night I had a phone call letting me know that the Lord impressed it on a couple's to give away their vehicle as they purchased a new one. They knew it was for me even though I never met them. So, Thursday this vehicle was brought to me with it's title and everything while I was working at the store. I was like a bowl of Jello all day long as I was so speechless and praise God all afternoon.
It was such a miracle that I got to share with customers who saw it happened. I pray that their hearts were encouraged by God's faithfulness and blessings to our family. We are so blessed with one miracle after another. Since August the Lord blessed us with a vacation complete with free tickets to Disney World and Sea World. It was a very much needed time of rest, relaxation and prayers for me and Danner. Before we left we specifically asked the Lord to give us the following things: Danner's school to be completely paid for, my U.S. Citizenship application, Danner's lost wallet to be found, a house, and a mean of transportation. Shortly after we got back from Florida Danner got his wallet back with everything safe inside; his entire school year is paid for; I was given a check of $675 for my application (I'm scheduled for biometric prints on September 29); we found the perfect and fitting house for our family; given a bicycle; and finally a Yukon Denali for that will allow me to do so much with New Beginnings and of course our family!
None of these things we asked were a surprised to the Lord but they are miracles to us. We have been under attack after attack since last November and finally see God's break through for our lives. We want to share His faithfulness with you and pray that you are encouraged as well and continue to press in. We pray, too, that you'll receive abundant blessings as we have. Thank you for letting us share with you our news!!
Love and blessings,
Danner, Trang & Allison
Monday, August 2
Busy Busy
We have been so busy and enjoying every bit of our summer together as a family. It's been great with Danner going to school and having days off to spend time with me and Allison. We're loving it!! We feel like our daughter has been so blessed by it because she gets to spend so much time with Daddy and then Mommy more than most kids every do each day. The Lord is using this time to grow and nuture our family.
We're praying for a bigger house and trusting the Lord to bless us with the right one. We're not trying to be anxious and making bad decisions, but we're praying and fasting for what He has in store for us! We want Him to bless us with it because we will use it to serve others. We have so many plans of how to bless others at our home! I can't wait for all these plans to unfold!
We're getting read for our vacation in less than 3 weeks!!! Yay!! We can hardly wait. God is so good and making provisions and showing us His blessings every step of the way, of course, we've been through a few tests and trials along the way as well. Ok...more to come, Allison wants to play now.
Blessings!!!
We're praying for a bigger house and trusting the Lord to bless us with the right one. We're not trying to be anxious and making bad decisions, but we're praying and fasting for what He has in store for us! We want Him to bless us with it because we will use it to serve others. We have so many plans of how to bless others at our home! I can't wait for all these plans to unfold!
We're getting read for our vacation in less than 3 weeks!!! Yay!! We can hardly wait. God is so good and making provisions and showing us His blessings every step of the way, of course, we've been through a few tests and trials along the way as well. Ok...more to come, Allison wants to play now.
Blessings!!!
Saturday, July 17
Nice Things We Get to Enjoy As Parents
Last Monday Danner told me not to plan anything for Wednesday since it's my day off at New Beginnings Resale Store because he had a surprise for me. After several attempts trying to find out from him what the surprise was and I failed! Tuesday night finally rolled around and I asked him what we were doing the next day and he left to come back with a beautiful card with a sweet handwritten message and told me that Allison and I were going out for a Mommy-Daughter date. The card also had a gift card to Olive Garden and some money for us! Yay!!! I was all teary at how thoughtful he was. He knew I needed a day off to spend time with Allison alone so he stayed at home cleaning around the house.
So, after Allison's swim lesson we got ready for our important and much needed date!!
Having zuppa toscana before the main dish
What a delicous lunch it was!!
So, after Allison's swim lesson we got ready for our important and much needed date!!
All ready to go!!
Having zuppa toscana before the main dish
What a delicous lunch it was!!
After a delightful lunch we went to Old Navy to find something nice for us to take on our vacation this August. Found a few things for Allison and can't wait to take pictures of her in them. Yay!! We got home and took a nap and headed out again to go a surprise birthday party. What a day!!
Thank you, Danner!!! We love you so much!!!
Thursday, July 8
Do-Over....Part 2
I've been wanting to do something for Danner to redo his Father's Day gifts that he lost along with his wallet. I know that he's really into air soft stuff so I got him a plastic tote and filled it with container of 5000 air soft bee bees, a pair of safety glasses, a big bottle of Gatorade, a variety pack of sandwich crackers, a pack of camo band aid, a canister of bug spray, a pair of flip flops, a wallet to replace his stolen one, and of course a card with Allison's hand print of six fingers (see pic. below) ;-). I know these aren't very much but we are on a budget so we have to be creative with our gifts instead of the old days when we both worked full time with good jobs and can afford to give more lavishly. While I was picking out these items, the Lord gave me an idea of putting descriptions on each item and read them out to Danner as he opened take them out one by one. I even made sure the tote I gave him can perfectly contain the bee bees, glasses, and safety kit inside of them!! Go me! My creative juice is coming out slowly. He was really thankful for the gifts and even kept the descriptions inside the tote to serve as his reminders. :-) Allison was very happy that she got to prolong her bed time a little bit to watch him open his gifts from us.
The result! Allison has an invisable finger
Getting cleaned up after finger painting!!
The result! Allison has an invisable finger
(only shows up on paint and cardstock!)
A little of everything for Daddy
Helping Daddy checking out his goodies
Here's what I came up with while thinking about what to get Danner. They're so cheesy but he liked it :-)
-The wallet represents how giving you are to all those around you
-The wallet represents how giving you are to all those around you
-The bee bees are to remind you of how quick you are to help others
-The safety glasses are to fix your eyes on the Father and not the standard of this world
-The flip flops are to guide your feet toward the purpose the Father had made just for you
-The band aids are to remind you to let the Father fixes your boo boos
-The bug spray to remind you to pray away the enemy
- The cheese crackers are for nourishment and remind you of your daily bread from the Lord
-The Gatorade reminds you to allow the Father to refill your cup daily
Then comes the confession: after getting all the items looked over, Danner realized I bought him women flip flops!!! Oops, sorry honey! He returned for something better. :-) It all worked out and fun was had by all!!
Prayer Room
Our church, The Pointe, formerly known as Antioch has the house of prayer that we're trying to worship for 24/7. We're getting there as the Lord is raising up worship and prayer leaders. Last night I took Allison with me to one of the sessions after dinner and her bath. It was a treat for her because she got to stay up passed her normal 7:30 bed time.
It was so nice sitting and praying (well, kept an eye on Allison most of the time), but I love the fact that our daughter is being raised in the house of the Lord. She was really good and well behaved through the entire set. She was very loving as she got to bring her doll and a blanket along with her so she can play pretend as a mommy. I saw how she loved and took care of the doll like mothers in our church. She's been watching and learning!
The set was very nice and relaxing. It was nice to get out of the house at the same time. Though I was distracted with my baby, I know the Father was listening to my prayers. He heard my heart's cry and I know He was touched. I want to continue to get to know Him in this intimate way. I want Allison to grow up knowing the Father too. My sisters and I are thankful that our generation we get to break off the curse of our ancestors from buddhism and walk in Christ. We get to raise our children in the Lord; to know Him and make Him known. We get to start a new generation of praise and worship. I am thankful He calls me His and bless me with a beautiful family: A wonderful and supportive husband who knows my heart. A beautiful daughter who knows what prayers are. I have supportive friends and in-laws who love me. I am thankful for what I have and where I am even though sometimes I complain. Well, let me take this back, I do complain a lot of times. I am realizing each day that this is the walk with you say "yes" to the will of the Lord. It is hard. It's not suppose to be easy. It's part of laying down our lives; picking up the Cross and follow Him.
I want to commit myself to be like Anna, the prophetess, who intercede for her family and her generation. I get to make a diffence in everything I do. "He'd made me for a purpose."
It was so nice sitting and praying (well, kept an eye on Allison most of the time), but I love the fact that our daughter is being raised in the house of the Lord. She was really good and well behaved through the entire set. She was very loving as she got to bring her doll and a blanket along with her so she can play pretend as a mommy. I saw how she loved and took care of the doll like mothers in our church. She's been watching and learning!
The set was very nice and relaxing. It was nice to get out of the house at the same time. Though I was distracted with my baby, I know the Father was listening to my prayers. He heard my heart's cry and I know He was touched. I want to continue to get to know Him in this intimate way. I want Allison to grow up knowing the Father too. My sisters and I are thankful that our generation we get to break off the curse of our ancestors from buddhism and walk in Christ. We get to raise our children in the Lord; to know Him and make Him known. We get to start a new generation of praise and worship. I am thankful He calls me His and bless me with a beautiful family: A wonderful and supportive husband who knows my heart. A beautiful daughter who knows what prayers are. I have supportive friends and in-laws who love me. I am thankful for what I have and where I am even though sometimes I complain. Well, let me take this back, I do complain a lot of times. I am realizing each day that this is the walk with you say "yes" to the will of the Lord. It is hard. It's not suppose to be easy. It's part of laying down our lives; picking up the Cross and follow Him.
I want to commit myself to be like Anna, the prophetess, who intercede for her family and her generation. I get to make a diffence in everything I do. "He'd made me for a purpose."
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